SIX years with you. You’re kind, funny, an amazing reader, a loving big brother, and a sweet soul who makes us oh-so-proud.

The year began as we got ready to welcome your sister and you and I squeezed in a few last adventures just the two of us. I’m eternally grateful for this push I felt, because as we would soon find out, it would be the last time for quite a while that we’d do “normal” things like walk around and photograph at the botanical center or play with the hands on exhibits at the science center.

This year has been your most formative year – in every sense of the word. Of course, it was 2020 which meant we began the year not only rocking your world with a baby sister, but asked you to adapt to it all without anyone else around, the normalcy of routines and school, or even playgrounds at first.

Talk about weird times, but ever the family guy you rose to the challenge and oddly thrived in your extra close family quarters. In a lot of ways, I think the extra (EXTRA) family time made the transition to welcoming a sister that much more smooth.

We watched you move SEAMLESSLY into the role of big brother and even when Greer had her extra spicy newborn days, you loved on her and patiently waited for her to return the favor. 🙂 You’ve cheered on her every milestone with the pure joy and enthusiasm of a coach sending someone to the Olympics – we joke that you might absolutely stroke out when she finally walks ha! She thinks YOU are the greatest thing ever and it’s been fun to watch your bond, even with a five year span, grow exponentially this year.

We said goodbye to our preschool family since age 1 with your graduation from Pre-K. We were one of the lucky ones to actually get to send you BACK to finish some preschool and even experience a half way normal (albeit masked and outdoors!) graduation. I’m not sure we would have normally been so into this minor milestone but in a year where everything has been upside down, we CELEBRATE these bits of normal.

Eager to do something fresh after all our stay-home time, we upgraded your toddler garbage truck themed room to a new passion: Minecraft. Your dad and I swapped out the details and surprised you after your last day at preschool. You were so genuinely grateful and excited. Big kid room for a big kid growing by the day.

Before we knew it, you were on to Kindergarten and while it was nothing like what I’d always imagined (we literally watched case numbers day to day the week before school started to learn if our county met the criteria for school to ACTUALLY start the next week!) you, like always, took it in stride. We did our best to make it feel normal – we school supply shopped, went to get new shoes and a first day outfit, and at the last minute we got a fire drill of an open house to at least get to SEE the building you’d spend kindergarten in. We met your teacher over zoom, you wore a mask, but again, one of the lucky ones — you attended full time in person….at least to begin!

One of the ironic benefits to climbing cases was that when school shut down, and you embarked on a month-plus of kindergarten virtually from home, I got a front row seat to the curriculum, your awesome teacher at work, and most notably how wildly capable you are. I might never have had an opportunity to see just HOW much you could handle – how many apps and logins you can manage, how you can follow along with timers and clocks (remember, these are 5 year olds who can’t tell time LOL!) and yet you stayed remarkably on task and were incredibly responsible, largely in part to a teacher who prepared you SO well from day one for this likely scenario of going remote. It was an adventure, I’m glad it didn’t last longer than it did, and it was certainly tricky for ME to stay available and also keep a busy baby from distracting you (and your classmates), but it was a unique glimpse I would have otherwise never had the gift of seeing.

The school year has additional breaks to go remote, but I’m grateful for all the 90% normalcy of memories you made in person and the friendships you grew as a result.

I’m keenly aware that we had much more time with you this year that we otherwise might have. It’s been that much more of a window into how quickly you are growing up and away from little boy. One of my very favorite memories of your sixth year is from New Years Eve. We were saying peace out to 2020 and Greer and I randomly dressed up for a night in. You wanted in on the fancy pants action and we pulled together a look from odds in your closet and anything that (somewhat) fit. Love myself a party guy.

Of course there were no gatherings or open venues this year, so Papa and Mimi brought the party and I did my best to make your Mario obsession into a theme. A “party” in the midst of a pandemic is a whole other post in itself, but I think you felt celebrated and I know you enjoyed your special day.

For one final celebration, we went to Wellman’s the night of your actual birthday. It doesn’t sound like much now but it was a BIG deal to go to a restaurant – it had been months since you’d been in one and it felt novel even to us, taking you. It felt so normal and like the best breath of fresh air to kick off your seventh year. Here’s to a fantastic next year for our main man!

Four Months

You are a constant chatterbox, love your hands and THUMB the most, are still working on growing some hair, starting to roll both directions, and have a dark sense of humor (you only laugh when we pretend to hurt ourselves!). But your greatest accomplishment yet is sleeping twelve hour nights for over a week (knocking on all the wood). You are 14.6 pounds of joy — Smooching these cheeks is what gets us through 2020!!

Five Months

You are not lacking in personality! You SHRIEK all day long – excited, annoyed, we can’t tell the difference. You are either indifferent or 1000% percent into something, there is zero in between. Mom has gotten into the habit of calling you Greerie, Crew tends to call you smushy, fluffy, or some variation of the two.

You love music, your thumb, your brother’s “comedy” routines (that typically involve jig-type dancing and pretend self-inflicted pain), stroking Dad’s beard, and snuggling with Mom at bedtime.

This month you met your uncle for the first time, had your first official playdate with a friend (FINALLY!), tried first solids (meh…we’ll hold off for a bit), and helped send your brother off to kindergarten. You throws your arm dramatically over your face to take a bottle, would prefer to be sitting up at all times – working on it – and in the last couple of days, all signs point to a first tooth. Looking forward to this next season in which we can continue to get out a little more and introduce you to some of our favorite fall traditions (you KNOW we’re already working on the costume)!

Six Months

And just like that, you’re halfway to one! Like every other month, we celebrate our 2020 ray of sunshine who is 17.2 pounds of chunky goodness. You love to roll to your tummy the second you’re set down, you’re trying desperately to sit on your own (balance is still a work in progress), love scratching every surface and texture with your nails with great interest, and sucking your thumb whenever you’re not busy shrieking and chatting, and looking at yourself in the mirror. You are happy ALL the time except for melting down at a loud noise, or if someone in sunglasses so much as looks in your direction. It’s been the fastest month yet with our girl. We can’t wait to see what’s next!

Month One

Your first month at home went quickly and slowly all at once. I have so many recollections of peaceful, quiet days, just the four of us settling in as a bigger family one day at a time. Thanks to six weeks of leave for your dad this time around, and the flexibility to work from home during the crazy times anyway, it was wonderful to have another (adult) set of hands and to help tag team keeping both Crew occupied and you happy.

Crew never missed a beat…and considering his world had been rocked for several weeks BEFORE your arrival, I was amazed how he took your arrival in stride. The time at home these days meant that while there was literally nowhere else to go or anything else to do, there wasn’t much else BESIDES bonding for you two to do.

It was wonderful to bring you home to our HOME, in sharp contrast to when we brought Crew home to a tiny apartment, mid-move. In these early days I’d leisurely set up little photoshoots and try on sweet outfits, capturing far more than your share of newborn photos 😉

My overwhelming memory during these early days is lots of delicious food prepared by your dad, lots of board games with Crew, and lots of newborn snuggles with our girl.

You were a much better newborn sleeper than your brother was 😉 From the first night on, you’d give me 3.5-4.5 hour chunks of sleep. I could actually time a 10pm feeding, put you down, and only get up once mid-night before being up for the day around 6 or 7 the next morning. Maybe it’s having realistic expectations the second time around, but I told everyone that ALL mamas should get to start with a second baby ha!

Month Two

There’s no way around saying it sister, you have been EXTRA this month! I’m happy to say you seem easier than just a couple weeks ago already, but all in all this month you have put us through our paces, wanting to be held every. waking. moment.

Babies know what they’re doing though, and you’ve kept us going with your growing range of coos, giant eyes-closed squinty smiles, and rolls everywhere we just want to munch on all day long.

You love snuggling, being naked, talking to the ceiling fans, and you are spending more and more time (read: a few minutes versus seconds) on your own here and there. You still sleep about 4.5 hour stretches at night (teasing us with one 6 hour stretch but never since!) and always on your side. You are finding your hands and love to suck on them but most of the time refuse a pacifier – and you are a HARD pass on the bottle right now but still don’t manage to miss a meal – 12.8 pounds, and 23.5 inches at your two month checkup!

You are venturing out more and more into this weird world (including a first Target run) and you’ve met a handful of real new faces this month, including your GRANDPARENTS!

Month Three

Independence Day has been the GOAL to get to these past weeks but you are a different girl the past several days! Multiple doctor visits and no one declared you colicky, but screaming every time you’re set down isn’t normal either, so whatever it was about that newborn phase, we are very grateful it’s in the rear view mirror. Hellllloooo to the next stage of your babyhood and full steam ahead celebrating your first Fourth of July!

Three months is nothing short of magical. You are a completely different baby than this time a month ago and I like to think you are your true self now going forward — happy, smiley, and ready to party! You love ceiling fans, “if you’re happy and you know it”, your toes, and your big bro. You are finding new ranges to your voice every day and have graced us with many nights with 7/8 hour stretches of sleep. With the help of a Hail Mary in which we sent you to school with Crew two days a week, you finally take bottles (hallelujah!) and with all this stay-home time, you seem to be loving the change of scenery and faces.

While you technically arrived just minutes before Easter, you celebrated your first holiday on the 4th, and had your first pedicure. The very best part of this new happy baby is seeing your relationship with Crew blossom — he’s been waiting so patiently to get snuggles and smiley time with you and it’s paying off in spades. We love love love you oh so much Greer girl!

Saturday, April 11, 2020

A complete opposite of her brother’s arrival, I knew, to the hour, when we’d be checking in to the hospital for Greer’s delivery. I’m not sure I would have opted to induce before the 40 week mark under normal circumstances, but as we all know, mid-April 2020 was anything but normal. I was of “advanced maternal age” this time around having just turned 36, Greer was cooking perfectly well, and in the interest of getting in and out before predicted hospital rooms “peaks” in the coming days, we opted for induction at 38 weeks, 6 days.

In the middle of so many unknowns and so many changes to how I thought things would go (including finding a place for Crew to stay when my parents couldn’t get back from Florida due to both cancelled flights and closed accommodations between here and there), I was grateful to at least know when this would happen, and that I’d be with my favorite OB from the practice, who had overseen the majority of my visits (the last several weeks of which had been just she and I since no visitors were allowed). I know she sensed that I needed something to go as planned so she booked me under the wire of 39 weeks so we would be on her hospital shift that week.

We dropped Crew off at our friends’ house for a sleepover (his first!) and it all felt so novel to be inside another family’s house after weeks of everyone keeping to themselves. If Crew was nervous to stay on his own, he never showed it and the excitement to play with friends both took over, and wore him out. Once I knew he was set, I was able to relax a bit more and focus on kid number two. We drove to the hospital laughing at how different this experience already was, and remarked for the seventy-fifth time how relieved we were to know we were both free of any symptoms or reason to not both be allowed into the delivery room — something we had been stressing in recent weeks.

Everything felt SO relaxed and familiar as opposed to doing this the first time around. Even though I knew it could go a hundred different ways, I still knew in so many ways what to expect, and again the lack of people in the past weeks made chatting with our nurses and doctors feel like a long overdue social hour. I remember it was SO quiet and there was the added step of going through security this time around, but I was very aware that it felt as if everyone was going above and beyond to keep things feeling light and happy. It was actually still so early in the pandemic that non-medical professionals didn’t yet have masks, so we were never asked to mask up – there were no spares to offer us even if they wanted to. In fact, the day we checked in was the first day the medical staff had been assigned face shields. But despite the added layers between us and the people around us, I kept feeling waves of relief, for all different reasons, wash over me and I can honestly say I wasn’t the least bit nervous. We were so ready to meet our girl.

We checked in at 4:00 and by 5 they had broken my water. I think they gave it an hour or so and when not enough progress had happened, they moved to pitocin. Contractions picked up after that and in the interest of it being a second baby, they advised that if I wanted to do an epidural, to order it sooner than later. I would guess that was maybe 8:00 and by 9 we were both kind of drowsy and decided to close our eyes. Page was SNORING and I tried not to laugh while simultaneously being annoyed that he was so comfortable and getting some rest! Meanwhile, I just could not get comfortable and had this sneaking suspicion that I needed my nurse, Lexi, to check in on us.

I decided to let Page snooze another 15 before waking him to reach the phone to call her. I’m not sure I made it the full 15 but just as he paged her, she happened to be walking in. She took one peek and I’ll never not laugh remembering her facial expression. She didn’t even draw both hands back, she just used one to grab a radio on her shoulder and started paging through the list of everyone on call…of course not a one answered and I saw her go into serious mode, and yet I couldn’t help but laugh at the urgency. I remember she asked me, “Can you stay RIGHT as you are? And NOT move?” and I laughed again, asking, “are you serious?”

“Yes, totally serious. And I can absolutely deliver this baby if we need to do it that way.” Then she went back to calling on her radio with one free hand and finally got through to someone. I just remember her saying, “We are having a baby. Right now.”

Everyone who had been paged but had not picked up suddenly all flew into the room at the same moment. My OB got situated and three pushes later, you were out. Lexi hadn’t been kidding! 11:06 pm was the minute we met our girl.

I remember thinking I didn’t have ANY tears left in me after the past few turbulent weeks, but despite not crying, I was SOOOO very happy to meet you. Page’s first memory was just how LOUD those little lungs were, followed quickly by those chubby cheeks. We were amazed to learn you’d had your cord wrapped around your neck, not once but TWICE, and that you had managed to tie it in a knot — something so rare the nurses urged us to take a picture of it.

You had come out so fast that after a couple minutes on my chest, you had to have some fluid sucked out to clear your airways. Aside from that and a bruised face from your speedy delivery, you were in perfect condition. 7 pounds, 14 ounces, and 19.5 inches of chunky goodness.

It took a while to get bleeding and blood pressure under control for me, and I remember with the lack of visitors, trying to keep up with texts and updates was overwhelming and we were also SO exhausted by the time things calmed down around 2 or 3am. We got some sleep and unlike my first go round with Crew, I didn’t hesitate to let the nurses feed you a little formula if I meant I could get an extra 30 minutes here or there throughout the night and next morning. I remember laughing at one point when they did bring you in to me — you had such a hoarse, cackly cry at first – you sounded like a smoker!

I can’t remember now if the cafeteria wasn’t open at this time, or if the rules about going through the hospital were more locked down, but either way, friends and your dad made some nearby food deliveries happen. (Nothing tastes better than those first bites after giving birth ha!) I remember eating delicious food, watching you get your first bath, and updating the world that you had arrived.

I was very aware of how Crew was doing and knew he was worn out from one night of sleepover already. Despite only needing 24 hours in the hospital, because you were born so close to midnight, we technically needed another night before they could clear us to go home. We agreed that Page would go home for the second night and get Crew settled back at home, and the boys would come pick up the girls the next morning. It made it so much easier for me to relax and just focus on those early postpartum hours knowing that Crew was with Page and that Page could get a decent night’s sleep in a real bed, knowing all this aftercare would fall to him with no one else around.

After a rainy stay, it was suddenly beautiful and sunny when the boys came to get us. I didn’t think they’d allow Crew in the hospital but someone bent the rules and the boys met us in the lobby for this special meet and greet. Crew’s first response to what he thought — “She has very sharp fingernails!”

We came home to a virtual homecoming, with signs and balloons and little gifts covering our house. It was so weird but also so peaceful to just have that time to ourselves. I have no need to ever revisit 2020 but as far as birth stories go, this one was easy, happy, and packed with good memories.

Someday we will tell you the stories of how the world was a bit broken.

We will tell you about how for weeks each morning was a numbers game, pitting new cases and available beds against estimated peaks and your looming due date. How we weighed all options about when and where to birth you to play odds in our favor.

We will tell you about the very real fears we faced at one point or another — that we wouldn’t be together for your birth, or just after, or that there would be a room available. That you would even be safe in, of all places, a hospital. Continuously changing our expectations for your birth became the only consistent thing we did.

We will tell you of how your then five-year-old brother repeatedly heard no, that he couldn’t see his friends or play on the playground. That we wiped down every package and grocery that crossed our threshold with the care of someone prepping for surgery. That all the schools and most businesses were closed, we stayed home for weeks, and we washed our hands until they hurt.

We will tell you how we went through security to enter the hospital and had our temperatures taken throughout the stay. That our doctors and nurses guided your birth from behind masks and face shields. That we all went home only 24 hours later.

We will tell you of how we had to grieve the idea of togetherness — we wanted to be with those facing their own challenges during this time. We wanted to share hugs with loved ones when we announced your arrival. We wanted your own grandparents to meet you, smell you, snuggle you, in person.

But we will also tell you all of the good woven into this crazy time. The stories of friends and family who stepped in to get us what we needed be it someone to watch your brother, surprise gifts to bring a smile, or much needed basics like Tylenol and diapers and formula we could no longer risk walking into a store for — assuming we could find them at all.

We will tell you about the superheroes in scrubs who worked harder than ever to calmly provide care, guidance, and new options in the final weeks before your arrival and who brought you safely into the world during your extra-fast entrance. They provided a secure bubble in which to meet you and where the pandemic didn’t seem to exist. I will be eternally grateful for that happy, hopeful stay after a month of swirling stress.

We will tell you how while we were away, friends and family left signs and chalked messages and balloons and surprises, covering our porch — they pulled off an actual no-contact homecoming celebration. It was incredible to feel so rallied around when we came home from the hospital to a quiet house but so many visible messages of love.

We will tell you about the rainbows and the heart windows, the teachers who read from home to keep kids like your brother feeling connected to the life he missed, and the first responders who cheered on staff at hospitals across the nation. The grocery employees who worked triple time but still loaded bags in my trunk from a safe distance and with a smile. The people who donated face masks to essential employees and the leaders who kept the nation moving us all forward. The employers who made safety a top priority so that people like your dad could work safely from home. The manufacturers that pivoted operations to build face shields and ventilator parts.

We will tell you how the people, six feet apart, came together.

Not very long ago, I hadn’t given your existence a thought, nor could I have imagined the current state of the world today. I know in my bones that your perfectly-timed arrival on this earth is part of a greater plan and you are living proof of hope and good things to come.

Someday we will tell you all of these stories, including how they ended: Snuggling a precious new life as this dark cloud over the world did, indeed, pass. It’s a bit broken right now, but the world WILL heal – and we are elated to welcome you into it, all the same.